Seahorse
by x-EarthAlchemist-x
Summary: A new arrival has Ed fearing for his manhood.  Rated T to be safe for mild cussing and references to male anatomy.


So this is my first FMA fic folks! The little pink plot bunny responsible for this one jumped on me on my way home from work and refused to let go. (Constructive!) criticism is much appreciated! Enjoy :-)

Seahorse

"Edward Elric, this is all **YOUR** fault!". The infuriated cries of one Winry Rockbell-Elric rang through the hospital halls, causing other parents and parents-to-be unfortunate enough to be within earshot to adopt expressions of empathy and horror respectively.

The infuriated cadence of her tone turned quickly to pain-stricken however as another contraction ripped through her tired body. _Twelve hours_, Winry thought, clenching her teeth. _How come I get ripped off with a labour this long? Mei barely made it to the __hospital! Typical given who its father is -_. Her train of thought was cut abruptly short as yet another contraction made itself known.

"Aaaa...aaaAAAA!". The scream started at the bottom of her lungs and increased in crescendo as Winry flung her head back against the pillows, twisting a fistful of bed linen in one hand and a fleshy appendage in the other. The owner of said fleshy appendage winced in pain, but dared not remove his hand for fear of eliciting further admonishment from his enraged wife. Enraged and in the agony of labour turned out to be an even deadlier combination than Ed had previously considered. Deadlier for him, that is; Ed was currently harbouring a great concern for his manhood given that Winry was blaming this particular appendage for the situation they found themselves in presently. Ed settled for ignoring the fact that his hand was being reduced to pulp and used his other to stroke Winry's hair back from her flushed face. Hell, it would be worth it when it was all over (and automail was always an option!).

"I swear to Truth, Ed, **you're** having the next one." Now that was said with far too much conviction to be ignored; golden eyes hooked on to cerulean.

"Winry," Ed began, attempting not to sound like he was addressing a five-year-old child, "you know men can't have babies, that's just impossi..."

"I'll have Al transmute you into a seahorse," Winry spat, narrowing her eyes as she cut across her hapless husband. She opened her mouth to let fly with another barbed retort, but quickly clamped it shut as another contraction presented itself. Recovering somewhat, she turned to an extremely baffled-looking Ed. "You know what I can do with a wrench, don't think it won't happen."

"Uhm, ok..." Ed began tentatively, befuddlement gracing his handsome features,"but Win, what on earth have seahorses got to do with anything? And anyway, alchemists aren't supposed to...". He trailed off in the wake of the murderous look on his wife's face. What alchemists could and couldn't do was probably a redundant conversation topic at this present moment in time.

_And I thought he was meant to be a genius_, Winry thought with exasperation.

"Because, nitwit, it's the male seahorse that has the babies, not the female. Nature got it right there, I reckon! OoooowwWOOO!"

At this juncture the midwife instructed Winry to start pushing, to which the blonde complied all too readily. Being otherwise occupied, Winry missed the look of sheer terror that adorned Ed's face as he digested this new information. The look had no time to settle, however, as it was replaced by one of pure wonder as a new cry pierced the room.

A newborn child.

His child.

No.

_Their_ child.

Ed looked down in disbelief as Winry released her stranglehold on his hand to receive a small, wailing bundle from the beaming midwife.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Elric, a beautiful, healthy baby boy!". Healthy's certainly the word, Ed mused, check out those lungs!

"That's my boy!" Ed whispered out loud, tears of joy lacing his words. He looked down at his wife and child, thinking that he had never, and would never, witness anything more beautiful than the scene before him. Winry smiled up at him tiredly.

"Wow, if I knew that it would take this to make you cry I would have pounced you sooner," she teased. "Don't worry about the seahorse thing, I didn't really mean it."

Ed grinned down at her, placing a tender kiss on her lips before shifting his gaze to his son. "You know what? If this was the result, I think I could handle it."

End


End file.
